This is a very important topic because most of our accusations do NOT come from other people; they come from our OWN selves. Most of them come about because when we are critical of ourselves, it spills over to others. One way to get past accusing voices is to practice forgiving ourselves and others. God forgives us so why do we like to place so much blame and guilt on ourselves and others?
We need to look at ourselves in a new way and tell ourselves positive things. We can be our own best friends and look in the mirror without fault-finding. I looked in the mirror today and said, "You don't look half bad for being fifty-six." I usually laugh a little at some of my flaws but thank God for a wonderfully functioning body at the same time. Romans 14:19 says, "Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding."
Let's not beat ourselves up. Let's have full confidence and press forward with no regrets. We can always look at ourselves and say, "Well, if I had done such-and-such, my life would be so much better."
My accusing voice is usually pointing a finger at me, telling me that if I had been a better mother, such-and-such wouldn't be happening to my kids. Joel Osteen says, "Let the past be past. You cannot change it, and if you make the mistake of living in guilt today because of something that happened yesterday, you won't have the strength you need to live this day in victory.
Take the pressure off yourself; give yourself the right to have some weaknesses and not to perform 100 percent of the time." By the grace of God, we are worthy. God is not an angry, condemning God. Quite the contrary. He is a loving and merciful God. We just need to change our attitude and stop being negative toward ourselves and other people. We need to see ourselves and others through the eyes of God. We are His beautiful creations!!!
Love & Light,
Patty
5 comments:
I find Rudyard Kipling's poem IF inspiring in this time of economic concern and political uncertainty.
"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, if being lied about,don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start at your beginnings,
And breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart an nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes not loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!"
"When written in Chinese the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity."
John Kennedy
Some of our most accusing voices come from the media as they tell us about our current financial "crisis" and the politicians as they play the blame game. That comes from outside, but what about our OWN accusing voices that try to convince us that we aren't pretty enough or handsome enough for love.
Love has nothing to do with appearance so I need to be careful to stop accusing voices in my head when I look in the mirror and see something other than the eternally young soul that inhabits my body. Frank and I will love each other forever regardless of the changes our bodies are experiencing. That's what we all desire...someone who will love us and grow old with us. Like the Beatles song asks, "Will you still love me when I'm 64?" When I was a kid, 64 sounded so old....it's sounding younger all the time. Here is a poem by Pierre de Ronsard that expresses my sentiment in a beautiful way.
WHEN YOU ARE OLD
"When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.
And bending down beside the glowing bars
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars."
Thank you, Frank, for loving my pilgrim soul!! xxoxx
We can only do the best we can at the time we are doing it. I was the best mother I could be when my kids were young and I was dealing with my Husbands Illness. I wasn't the best mother but I was the best mother I could be. That is all we can do. I don't have guilt or the "if only's". I know I was doing the best I could at the moment I was doing it. Also I always try to act out of love. Love being the center of all you do. You can't go wrong. If you act from the point of love you don't have any negitave motives and you are doing all you can. I did not see(in this page "Your Best Life Now" where you dealt with your daughters accadent but I am sure it was a difficult and tramatic experience. Your daughter is so beautiful and so are your grand children. Life is funny isn't it. Those difficult things teach us so much. You must cherrish your family so---almost having lost your precious daughter. God bless ---enjoy every moment of gods gift.
So glad to have been led to you. Your words and messages have meant so much to me.
Thanks again Patty :)
Maureen, your comment was heartfelt. I know that you were the best mom you could be at the time of your husband's illness and death. You are a wonderful mom, and I agree with you that we do the best we can with what we know at the time. In fact, Louise L. Hay says, "Release the need to blame anyone, including yourself. We're all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness we have." I wrote about Tori's accident in some of my older posts, but I will tell you about it here. On July 18, 2004, Tori had a severe motorcycle accident. The doctor was not sure she would survive the night. Her pelvis was broken in five places, and she had internal bleeding. She lost more blood than the human body holds. The doctors keep pumping blood into her, and she survived. I thank God every day for her life!! After operations and months of hospitalization, she eventually resumed her normal life. The doctor said that she wouldn't be able to have any more children. She already had one daughter. Since that time she had another daughter by Caeesarian. Just a month ago we had a son naturally!! Praise God! Maureen, I don't know what kind of a mother I was, but I am just so thankful God gave me another chance. God did lead you to me, and me to you! We will be able to encourage each other. That is a good thing! All these things that we have gone through makes us stronger. If we ever hear accusing voices, we just need to remember that the ego is trying to tell us that we could have done better. We don't need to listen to that voice. We have our GPS (God's Powerful Spirit) within to lead us and affirm us. Our GPS is gentle and tells us that we did the best we could. I'm so grateful for that. Thanks for writing on the blog. Please write on here often. I so appreciate your comments.
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