Tuesday, June 24, 2008

"Live and Let Live"

Patty, this comes straight from your entry today. Your comments on aggresssiveness and defensiveness took me right to the book I just got yesterday, and started reading while waiting for a friend at a restaurant. (Yes, that ties in, her daughter had a baby when she was just a teen, with a guy she thought would be her life mate - he wasn't!) Corrosive relationships, power trips, all of it had me thinking back to when we were praying for the situation. There have been others in the past that we have prayed for God to watch over and work through. The name of the book I just got from Radio Bible Class? "Before the Ring" William L. Coleman. My friend leaned over, and said "What are you reading that for? Are there weddings in the future?" Quite possibly on my part, but she went on to say that her daughter is engaged to another young man but the marriage is over two years in the future. She said.... It is too late for "Before the Ring." Perusing it, I think not. The information and stories could be for a lot of us, before we take the leap. How much easier life would be if we worked out kinks in the rope before we rope ourselves into situations. Some of the stories are applicable to not just marriage, but to work situations, friendships, etc. How many of us have aggressive or defensive work mates or partners? One comment that stood out like a light: Marriages (work partnerships, etc) that begin with fireworks may end up as scattered ashes. I told someone recently... Marry in haste, repent at leisure, and he said: WHAT does that mean?
For you on the blog, if you were asked that, what would you say?


Patty said...

Rozan, I think I'll answer that because I'm the only other one ever on the blog. Even Frank has been so tied up with work lately that he hasn't been able to get on it. I have been hearing from quite a few people that they are reading the blog though. Not all of them are listed as contributors, but I have some facebook friends who tell me that they really enjoy it...so for that, I am thankful. Even if no one else ever read this, I would keep this blog b/c every week, it gives me a chance to express something I am learning in my daily walk with the Lord. Anyway, back to your question about "marry in haste; repent in leisure"...I guess it means what it literally says that when we marry in a hurry, we have plenty of time to regret our decision if we made the wrong one. This proverbial saying was first expressed in print by William Congreve in his comedy of manners The Old Bachelour, 1693:

"Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure:
Married in haste, we may repent at leisure."

That book BEFORE THE RING sounds like a good one, Rozan. I have heard of a lot of marriages that are on the rocks these days. I'm so grateful that the Lord sent me Frank. He is an awesome husband. We are grateful to have found each other after having gone through unsuccessful marriages the first time. Two of our daughters got married this month. Mandy married Dustin Hinrichs on June 14, and Tori married Caleb Bomar on June 21. I think I'll recommend that book to them. I'm sure that is plenty of information in it for newly weds. We are so happy for both of them.

About defensiveness and aggressiveness, I think we have to ask our own selves why we are experiencing these feelings. We usually are not upset for the reason we think. So many times it has something to do with our unhealed past. Frank & I can usually find the answer to these feelings by asking ourselves if there is something from our childhood or a past marriage that we need to forgive, heal, and release so that we can move on in a healthy way with our relationship.

Well, have a good day, Rozan, and thanks for your contribution.

Patty said...

I am so thankful in my life that I have such an awesome husband and family, but at the same time, I am hearing about some many marriages and families who are struggling. Frank and I both had previous marriages that resulted in divorce. We do not regret these marriages because they produced our beautiful children. Yet because of these previous marriages, we were a little ambivalent about whether to try it again. (Not for long, however, because we married six months after we met. ) What gave us the courage to try again was our ability to grow from our experiences rather than live in fear. I'm so glad we did try again because eleven years later we are still as happy as newly weds. Wayne Dyer says, "The way out of fear or failure is to face it and laugh at the results rather than be embarrassed or intimidated by earlier outcomes." Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote a poem with a message about going on with life as if failure is not a consideration and fear of commitment is not something to be envied.

"I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:

I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;

Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth,
Nor any want-begotten rest.

I hold it true, what'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Patty said...

Well, we've talked about marriage and taking risks and even regrets on this post. Today I'm thinking about the title "Live and Let Live" that Rozan chose. I guess I want to point out that I hope one day soon we will be more accepting of each other. It seems we fight too much...ourselves, each other, our very earth, and even God. I prayed today for people in other countries. I don't know their language, their faith, or their philosophy, but I do know that I want peace in my lifetime and in the lifetimes of my granddaughters and soon-to-be-born grandson. I want a beautiful earth for them to inhabit with a good economy and most of all---peace. There is one God, and I believe that He cares so much for us and our planet. How can we bring honor and peace into His creation? How can we support a world of love, peace, and care? I pray for our leaders. I pray for this upcoming election. I pray that each person in power uses utmost wisdom in making the choices that affect us all. I pray for abundant resources for all. I pray that I will do my part in all this.

Patty said...

This came in my email from a friend on facebook.

God has a positive answer:

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you
(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)