What is holding me back? What challenges do I face? Nothing is holding me back. I have no challenge that can keep me down. I really do enjoy life. Sometimes though something will get me down for a little while before I realize that any problem I have is transient. I am made in God's image which means that I make the most of what I have and who I am. I make no excuses. There is no reason for the blame and shame game.
Last weekend was my husband's birthday. I had planned a nice weekend with him. We ate lobster and went to a KU basketball game, and then Sunday I invited the kids to come celebrate with us.
Well, on Sunday I felt cranky. It may have been from lack of sleep or some other reason, but I was a little short with everyone. I woke up Monday morning feeling a little guilty so right away, I messaged my family on facebook and apologized. I didn't want to wallow around in self-condemnation or waste time making up excuses for my behavior so I just decided to ask forgiveness. I received it right away.
Most of the time, it is our own unforgiveness of ourselves that is holding us back. The truth is that we don't have to stay in a state of crankiness or unhappiness. We can move out of it. That's not to say that we always have to put on a happy face even when we don't feel like it. It just means we need to realize that our inner joy runs deeper than our pain.
Sometimes we try too hard to be perfect. God accepts us as we are so there is no guilt or condemnation for being human. All we really need to do is ask for forgiveness. God is our strength. In Him we find joy.
I also find joy in my family. About the time when I was feeling the crankiest, I saw a picture on facebook of my new baby granddaughter with the hugest smile on her face. This lightened my mood considerably.
I'm not going to sit in judgment of myself for my crankiness. Instead I am going to commit myself to love and happiness NOW! I love that quote from Maria Robinson that says, "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." Happy Mardi Gras!
Love and Light,
Patty
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